There is a whole debate around the psychology of You Can Do It! In the religious context, especially the Christian one, there is a strong belief that God doesn’t give you more than you can do, a task that is over your power. But He doses what He wants from you so that you can do that. From these statements emerge that all things and problems that happen into an individual’s life are human solvable.
From a laic perspective, the French existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre says the same thing, but in a tougher manner. He says that it is absurd to complain of something, because not anyone else have decided what we feel, live or what we are. We have the absolute responsibility for all these, not anyone or anything else.
We talked here about what God or life gives us, in terms of tasks and burdens or challenges, and our capacity to manage and cope with them. But what about our wishes and dreams, have we the power to achieve them?
Here are two different situations. What life challenges us with is rarely optional but rather obligatory; we have to deal with it, even if we face it or run away from it. But what we challenge ourselves with (wishes, dreams, etc.) aren’t always necessary or obligatory.
Therefore, the first step in dealing with our wishes and dreams is to sort them by a criterion, because not all our wishes and dreams worth our effort. This effort may cost us more than the achievement of our wishes and dreams give us.
A good criterion to sort them out is happiness. Ask yourself: I’ll be happier if I achieve that wish or that dream? To answer this question you have two possibilities: to imagine yourself if you’ll be happier or not, or to ask someone else who achieved that if he is happier now than before. After doing one of these or both, you have to conclude.
If you concluded that achieving that wish or dream worth your effort, then follow the second step: confidence that you can do it. Without self-trust you can’t even the simpler task. And be aware that this confidence that you can do this or that is strong related to your self-esteem. So building your self-esteem is a must.
The third step for achieving your wish or dream is to find a strategy. Here too, you have two options: find it yourself or borrow it from someone that achieved what you want to achieve (in NLP this technique is called modeling excellence).
If you want to borrow it from someone else, you have to ask in details how he did it, accessing all his believes, attitudes, values, inner talks, representations and thoughts, movements and actions.
But if you want to build your own strategy, a good technique is incubation. This means to focalize on your wish, dream and storm your brain to find ways, means. It isn’t only a focalization for a short period, but a focalization as a background, until your unconscious mind find an optimal solution.
The last step is the implementation of strategy or taking action. Some say this is the hardest step. Many studies have shown that there is a huge gap between our wishes, dreams and their achievement.
Many times we do know very well what we have to do. But, do we do it? Closing this gap is the most critical step in our process of achieving our wishes and dreams. There are explanations that say some of us are built-in-action people and others are built-in state people. But this kind of explanation don’t help me anymore, because if they say me I’m a built-in-state man, what do I have to do? Resign! I don’t think so.
A good way to begin this process of implementation is to propose you to try it for ten minutes. After these ten minutes you have to decide if you continue or not. Usually, once you’re involved, it’s easier to go on. In conclusion: Yes, You Can Do It!
You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.
What do you think about these steps? Are they effective or not? What strategy do you use to achieve what you want?