The concept of abnormality is not only relative but it’s often mixed up with being different. Every one of us needs to be accepted in a social group and, many times, we are willing to do major compromises to reach this goal. A frequent one is the tendency of constantly showing a similar behavior to the majority’s one to avoid the risk of being isolated.
The predisposition for compromise appears when there is an enormous discrepancy between appearance and reality. This means that we are thinking/ acting differently from the group but we assume our partners’ thoughts/ actions as there are our own. In time, this self-censorship not only brings us a lot of frustration but it also ”help” us to slip in the extreme of a faked behavior.
Taking into account that we are generally tempted to choose the easy way of getting something immediately, it’s explainable our “strategy” which save us the effort of self-describing. The so-called “guilt” of being different is also hidden deep inside our mind, for a short period I would say. In fact, we trick ourselves thinking that it will be easy to act like this for a long time without having to make special efforts. Let’s not forget that self-censorship always involves a huge psychical pressure.
It’s important to know for those who are “afraid” of being them that wanting to be the same as others doesn’t imply any advantage. Have you ever heard the expression “to make a difference”? For making this happen we must accept and let others to find out about our interior structure. If we decide to hide it we only give others the power to control us.
If you have the courage to be different it means you are a strong and independent personality, in control of who you are or you want to be, open mind to challenges. Further more, you must be conscious that you can’t be close friend of everybody, maybe only superficially. You can’t be liked by all and it’s not even recommended to be. It’s more efficient for your self-esteem to be accepted for who/ what you are than for some qualities you simulate to have.
Life means taking all kind of risks and being enough responsible for any action. I believe that he decision to behave like others could be considered a risk as well- the risk of losing our identity inside the group. So it’s desirable to be remarked for acting differently than being “one” more in a social crowd. – Psychologist, Nicoleta Cramaruc