Often psychological work consists of dysfunctions explanations, and rarely of excellence modeling. Barbara Kerr, psychology professor at the University of Kansas, took the last way and focused on what happens in strong families.
Here are nine indicators of strong and happy families:
- strong and happy families don’t focus on money, they build their own philosophy of life and then try to live it;
- they have a daily and consistent time, when each member have the possibility to tell his stories, things that happened that day;
- have only a few broadly stated rules; they don’t have a rule for everything, but have the best rule of relationships: respect each other;
- both parents work and most important they are creative; they don’t quit but try to find new solutions when the well established ones failed;
- kids are allowed to take some risks, they aren’t overprotected, but step-by-step they are taught how to manage situations unaided;
- they focus at times on one member’s goals or needs, this focus shift and each member take advantage of this assistance;
- they have conflicts too, but they try to solve them and not to hide them; they aren’t afraid of disputes and each solved conflict makes them stronger;
- each member of the family have the possibility to be alone, they have their own spaces;
- but they have a gathering space too, where they feel comfortable in the presence of others;
Having proofs that these manners of approaching daily family life work, we can implement them in our family life. But this requires closing the achievement gap, the gap between knowledge and action.