End of life is the only certainty we have and, in the same time, the subject we are frequently avoiding to discuss. We bravely try to “beat” death doing all kind of activities which give us satisfaction, fulfillment and the feeling of being in control of our own life.
Even the feeling of losing the love ones exists, it is “berried” deep inside us and we say to ourselves that they will not die in time to come or it can’t happen to them. In fact, we are refusing to face the reality acting as this “problem” will not affect me if I’m not thinking about it.
We come back to the cruel reality when a close person is taking away from us. When it really happens, we ask over and over again “why him” no matter how old he/ she was. It doesn’t hurt less if the person is older. That’s the moment when we realize that we aren’t ready to deal with love one’s death as well as the fact that the feeling of self-control is an illusion.
So what it has to be done to be more ready to accept the death of someone close? The most important thing it will be to learn to talk open about it. It is known the effect of a spoken word. More we express our interior thoughts and fears more we will be able to accept the inevitable. Further more, by talking we can get rid of all the tensions inside us.
I think that the phenomenon of death psychology should be approached more seriously. A greater attention to what is going throw a person facing a love one’s death it can be an answer to the main question of this editorial. This means that each one of us must learn to live every moment of life to its full intensity being aware that he can’t control and deny death. We can only enjoy the time spend with love ones.
The effect of someone’s death on us and the ability to accept his death depends a lot on this previous self-preparation. I could say that if we” take care” of our soul before by being honest and realistic, then we can convert the overwhelming pain into priceless memories.
Don’t ask yourself if you are ready to deal with a love one’s death and then hide inside YOU, make it real because it will only help you when the time will come! – Psychologist, Nicoleta Cramaruc