Daily we enter in more or less conversational situations, with acquaintances or unknown people, on street, at work or at parties. When we meet them, usually we greet each other then begin our conversation on a topic or subject that have attracted our attention, affected or interested us in the recent time.
During our daily conversations, occurs one of these two situations:
- the other is interested in the topic or subject we begin to talk about;
- the other isn’t interested in our subject;
In the first situation, the conversation begins and flows very easy, being constructive and motivating for each other, both/all parties having something to learn.
In the second situation, the conversation becomes, most of the time, a monolog. So one may talk with passion about a certain subject, while the other doesn’t listen, he only mimes listening (certainly he thinks at something else).
When one of participants of a conversation isn’t interested in the subject the other talks about, he either mimes listening until the other finishes his speech and energy or takes the initiative by introducing a conversational virus (a totally different subject). This may lead the conversation into a new direction or not.
The key of a constructive conversation, useful for both/all parties, is to find the common interests. When we know each other, the situation is simpler because we know what we have in common. However, when we begin to talk with an unknown person, the things are harder, the common interest may rise only by trial and error.
- try to be aware of the conversation flow and topics, subjects;
- don’t accept passively any subject the other begins to talk about, if you think it isn’t constructive or useful;
- change the course of conversation elegantly and imperceptibly (usually when you don’t know the other);
- when you know the other, you can let him know politely that the subject isn’t constructive and that you want to discuss something else;
- profit of constructive conversations, they give you the possibility to develop your latent ideas;